cholulas bakery

Image via Cholula’s Bakery

Despite already experiencing the effects of getting high off bread during the holidays (hello, gut), there is now a way to literally get high off bread.

Different to what I most commonly know to be “carbicide”, a bakery in Santa Ana by the name of Cholula’s Bakery has been getting their customers all kooky with their tainted goods i.e. bread, also commonly referred to as “the devil’s food” by gluten-free folk.

According to a report, more than 40 people have fallen ill after eating the “Rosca de Reyes” holiday bread and went directly to the emergency room once they started experiencing symptoms such as hallucinations and wooziness. While for many this might have been a free ride on the “soul train”, people were understandably concerned. To be honest, however, one look at this bread and I am more concerned about the weird goopy, colorful stuff draped atop it, but that is just me. It’s like a King Cake but not as pretty.

Anyways, through the process of elimination , Cholula’s Bakery was to blame and police were quick to open a criminal investigation of the bakery just last week.  The results for the faux-King Cake came back and it did test positive for the presence of a synthetic drug that they did not want to disclose which is just a shame for all the stoners out there who really wanted to get the recipe for hallucinogenic bread.

However, as if getting roofied by your morning slice of sin isn’t enough, there is also a chance that taking a bite out of this festive bread also meant taking a chunk out of a roach thanks to their delightful roach infestation. YUM. After all, when it comes to 2015 food trends, insects are in.

Despite this whole debacle, as any good business owner knows, all is well and good once they post an apology on Facebook. While I often think of Facebook apologies (or any type of Facebook announcement) to be exceptionally fake and contrived, I will let these guys slip. They seemed  fairly honest and they had a few devotees backing them up and I would hate to see them go without their faux King Cake for too long.

What are your thoughts on the Cholula’s Bakery debacle?

 


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